On a first date, who picks up the check? There is a common custom that many men still abide by that the gentleman caller pays, but that is not always the case anymore. It can be tricky to navigate such things in today’s dating landscape. Let us help.

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First Date Etiquette

And then, things changed. When the concept of power within a relationship took hold and the idea of the man paying for the evening became almost taboo with feminists, considering such actions as misogynistic, the shift muddied the waters. And as a result, going Dutch became infinitely more popular.

In today’s dating world, it can be tricky. But if you do intend to date and want to cover your back with plenty of liquid capital, just in case, there are some things you might want to know. And this applies in all dating, from someone you meet at a church social to an interest you found on the best online dating sites.

Where To Begin

Congratulations! She said yes. Your foot is in the door.

Before we continue, this applies to all dating structures and sexual preferences, but for brevity, we will write from a heterosexual man’s perspective. No matter what your lifestyle, the dating game is still the same. We do not want to exclude anyone. This is a guide, and to introduce all the nuances of every couple would be very long.

Continuing. Yes. Foot in the door, for lack of a better cliché. Now comes the jitters, the nerves, the scenarios planning every detail, and the cost analysis. Expenses on a first date can go two ways, and they are primarily up to you and them, long before the date is even scheduled. It is in the conversation. If she says she loves lobster, plan on a big check.

The easiest way to answer how to apportion the expenses of a date will boil down to simple details. Do they like extravagant or straightforward things? What is their favorite food? Do they seem high maintenance or down-to-earth? These are just a handful of questions that can help you plan the money you might need.

During the First Date

By now, you know who you are spending your evening with and what they like. Many folks meet online and chat a lot, so the intricacies are already ascertained. And now you have taken the next step; the first date itself. And then the check comes. What now?

There are three possible likelihoods in today’s dating world:

1. You reach for it, she smiles, and that is the end of the concern.

2. You reach for it, she gets made for not discussing this part, and the date is over, with no second sight.

3. She picks up the check, and you are emasculated because of what has been pounded into men’s heads since the dawn of dating.

There are other possibilities, but they are less likely unless you mentally prepare.

1. She picks up the check, and you get over it. She wants to assert her womanhood or wants to thank you for a lovely evening. This works out better if there is more than just dinner planned. Like perhaps a show or movie, or carriage ride through the park. This balances the evening.

2. You split the check. And everything else. No dominant monetary struggle. Again, a balance. This is very common, but still weird for guys to wrap our heads around.

Defining Your Night

We say pick up the check, but some people don’t quite get what that means. To pick up the check, meaning paying for dinner or an event, is a common colloquialism from the past. The phrase isn’t commonly used as much as it used to be. And it can mean pick up a paycheck from dining, pick up a paycheck on a first date, or even pick up the check for an Uber ride.

The act of paying for something you share is picking up the check. And like we said, it is good to have an open mind about who should pick up the check on a date. You never know what the other person is thinking. There are ways you can discuss it, but the wording has to be carefully chosen. Don’t be rude, but also don’t be arrogant.

Conclusion

It can be both exciting and nerve-wracking to endeavor into dating after a while on the bench. Have fun with it. And never settle. If you love the beach, then find a kindred spirit that loves it, too. And it doesn’t matter if they are gorgeous or average. Looks fade, but a person you can connect with is much more special than someone who is just arm candy. Broaden your horizons and find someone real.

Author’s bio:

Rachael Sullivan is a family lawyer for many years with a sole practice in family law. She met her husband on Dating Ranking and now she enjoys sharing healthy tips for relationships so that it can be as easy and happy as possible because words are powerful and can change everything.

Also Read: The Art Of Dating: How To Meet A Person Who Is Sexually Compatible With You? here